„Nein, es hat nicht gesagt: „Hier bringe ich Geschenke!“ – Es hat eine Rute genommen und einem den Arsch versohlt! Das hat es gemacht, du dumme Sau!“
(Santa) Klaus Kinski
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Letztens einen süß-doofen Witz gehört:
A guy was driving down a street in a small neighbourhood when he saw a sign for a garage sale two blocks down the road from where he was. He thought it would be a good change of pace from his routine so he drove down the side road until he saw a house with the garage door open and plastic tables out on the driveway with all shorts of doohickeys and thingamabobs on them. But a sign next to the open garage got his attention. It said “Talking Dog for Sale” in big bold letters. Underneath the sign, there was a nice-looking Labrador retriever sitting beside a guy with a baseball cup and oversized sunglasses in a tanktop that was slumped over a foldable camping chair. Intrigued he approached the sign.
“You talk?” he asks asked the dog, hoping to get the attention of the guy sitting next to it
“Sure Do” the dog replied, causing the guy to jump for a moment and look around for confirmation. After the guy recovered from the shock of hearing a dog talk like a human would he got intrigued. “So, what’s your story?”Without missing a beat the dog started talking.
“Well, Long story short. I was born like this. I knew I could talk since I was a young pup. I wanted to help so I asked a policeman if I could become a police dog. Before long the FBI found out about me and they wanted me to become a spy dog. They had me fly around the globe from country to country, sitting in important meetings, and sneaking in restricted areas to spy on mafia bosses, drug dealers and foreign dictators. No one figured that a dog could be eavesdropping and they didn’t open fire on signt when I was trespassing in a warehouse where a drug deal was about to go down. But I could see their faces I could hear their names. I was one of their most valuable assets in the field. On one occasion I was undercover as a dog in a train station, and I was wandering near two suspicious characters, listening in to what they were saying. That operation ended up giving the government valuable information that ended up in the biggest drug bust in history with the largest amount of mules and processes getting put behind bars. They ended up awarding me a batch of medals for my part in it. Eventually, I got married, had a bunch of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”The guy was dumbfounded he looked at the dog with astonishment. He immediately turned to the guy sitting on the chair next to the dog.
“How much do you want for the dog?”
The dog’s owner turned his head lazily while scratching his chest through his tank top.
“Five bucks,” He said.
“Five bucks for a talking dog? Why on earth would you sell him for five bucks?”
The owner raised an eyebrow and lowered his glasses,
„Because he is a liar. He has never been outside the yard.“
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Ich verstehe es nicht 
Der Vadder hat seine Antwort nicht mal selbst getippt, sondern nur eine andere weitergeleitet.
Das sind alte Menschen. Ich bin froh, wenn sie für 2 Zeilen keine Stunde am Handy tippen.
Meine Oma schickt in der Zwischenzeit hauptsächlich Gifs 
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